I understand, I really do. Sometimes you just can’t let go of things, even if they are bad for you. It’s like how you convinced yourself The Phantom Menace was a good movie the first time you saw it. Just as fond memories of Luke and Leia can make even Jar Jar look good, nostalgic thoughts of your first zombie in the original Resident Evil can prompt you to overlook the flaws of later titles. Well, sometimes you just need to pull the plug. So let’s look at a few gameplay mechanics that are probably better off dead.
Tank Controls
It’s pretty simple really. There’s nothing wrong with tank-like controls, as long as you’re controlling a tank. If I’m a human being, I expect to be able to move like one. This type of control scheme was at least mildly acceptable in the earlier days of gaming and in the first Resident Evil. 3D environments were still awfully new, and dual-analog stick controllers were still a pipe dream. Developers were still trying to figure out how to best control a character in 3D space – and I LOVED the first Resident Evil.
But there are no more excuses for tank controls. It’s awkward. Imprecise. Clunky. I walked around the world of Heavy Rain like a drunk on a 3-day bender – running into walls, getting caught on furniture, missing doorways. It was a little embarrassing. Then I booted up RE5, and I felt like I was moving through molasses or something. Zombies and a dude with a massive axe want to chew on my face, and I turn to run away like I’m on a Sunday stroll through the park.
SSSLLLOOOOWWW Targeting
This busted mechanic often goes hand-in-hand with the lousy tank controls. Why do some targeting reticles move like molasses in January? There’s a zombie over there, now SHOOT IT. Sheesh. Hugh Hefner has quicker hand-eye coordination than some of these fools in video games. Are you honestly telling me that a specially trained commando takes that long to target something? I guess it’s no wonder he’s on zombie clean-up detail in South America.
Stupidly Sticky Cover
Cover systems were a revolution in shooters, and a mechanic that I wouldn’t want to be without. The problem is they still haven’t gotten it completely right. I can recall dozens of deaths where I either: a) took cover when I didn’t want to or b) found myself unable to break away from cover to run away. I just want cover systems to become more intelligent (I’m asking a lot, I know.) Does the game really think I wanted to lean up against this wall right in front of a M-16 wielding bad guy? This also factors into some traversal/grab systems in games like Assassin’s Creed and Uncharted. Sometimes I really DON’T want to stick to every wall in the environment.
Sprinting
Ugh. I don’t want to have to tap or hold down a particular button to sprint (I’m looking at you, GTA). If I can sprint without getting tired or without breaking the gameplay in some way, I want to sprint all the time automatically. My right trigger finger is tired, and I’m sick of holding it down to sprint through the streets of Firenze or through the corridors of Arkham. Just make me run at top speed all the time, please. I know some people think they want to kind of “role play” and walk around a beautiful environment at normal walking speed, but those people are dumb. Make THEM hold down a button to walk normal. The rest of us have crap to do and want to do it quickly.
When I think about these kind of mechanics, I wonder how they made it out of testing. Wasn’t there a single voice of reason saying “hey, tank controls are so 1998, maybe it’s time for a change.” Didn’t any of the dudes who had to play the game for 9 hours straight say they were sick of holding down the sprint button? I don’t get it.
There are plenty more where these came from – busted save systems, horrible control schemes, idiotic puzzles – what are some of the gameplay mechanics you would like to see dead?
